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The way these events unfolded is an unfortunate one, and I feel rather sorry for your current predicament as a family.By forbidding your daughter from seeing her 17-year-old friend, it seems to me that you possibly accomplished several things: Well, it is of course quite possible that I've missed the mark in some of my analysis.This may possibly involve giving her a sincere apology for breaching her trust or overreaching in your response to her relationship with her friend.(Showing that you can be fallible in your parental judgment when your daughter is 13 [and is probably savvier than one might suspect] would be the honest thing to do, and I'm sure she would appreciate the gesture of your openness if you can convince her that your action is genuine.) I also invite you to consider your own motivations for acting the way you did more deeply.We had to tell her that there is absolutely no way she can have sleepovers with the 13 year old and 17 old (which they were planning).We've never fought with her in our life (she has always been so easy until now!
You do sound like a deeply caring parent, but it may be the case that you and your husband would benefit from at least a degree of professional help to come to terms with the possibility that your daughter will turn out to be gay, as well as getting some guidance regarding the best way to deal with some of the issues connected with that possibility.A little background- my daughter has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend or relationship and is in 8th grade.She has always been young for her age and had a tough time identifying with other girls and kids at her school (we had issues of bullying- mostly to her being shy) in which we switched her schools in 3rd grade.I told her I was her mama and that I just knew and that I would love her unconditionally.She said she still liked both guys and girls, but she definitely liked the 17 year old and she couldn't help her feelings. Fast forward two weeks- we've told dad which was hard but he is supportive (ish) it's still new.